for the past few years, I have shared circle after circle in community. there are some who have recently experienced a loss and others who have been on the long journey for decades. after all, grief never ends—it simply transforms as we ebb, flow and grow into our discovery. during the pandemic, many of us have also experienced what I have called “re-grief”. this is a revisit to the pieces and past of our loss that we may not have metabolized, acknowledged or are suddenly spurred to re-acknowledge as we witness the very unusual world around us. the universal sense of grief we have all experienced is not only due to the 500,000+ deaths witnessed in the us alone, but the loss of jobs, normalcy, scarcity of money, food - and being separated or isolated from friends, family and classmates.
these feelings have stirred an awakening to loss the world over, and at nearly the one year mark of the start of Covid stay-at-home orders, we have not yet begun to grieve. it has been my mission to not only change the vernacular around grief, but to bring it out of the shadows and into our day to day exchanges so that we normalize its place in all of our lives and conversations. I believe this call to action is having its time. it needs to, if we are to heal humanity and be compassionate neighbors.
currently there are no federal laws that require employers to provide employees either paid or unpaid leave. I have been consulting high level executives, business leaders and human resource departments to prioritize and in most cases, craft and institute their bereavement leave policies. what would it look like if we entertained mandated bereavement leave in the US today? the only state to have bereavement leave legislation in the country is Oregon (jan, 1, 2014). the other 49 states, plus the District of Columbia, do not require employers to provide employees either paid or unpaid bereavement leave. New York most recently, tried and failed.
bereavement leave today, is typically unpaid and unsupported—employees will have to use paid time off or unpaid personal leave for time needed. stop and think about what life would look like for you, if you had to navigate your grief with the added worry over a return to work or job loss. there is no statutory right to paid time off to organize or attend a funeral. some employers will have a compassionate leave policy that provides for paid and/or unpaid time off to organize or attend a funeral.
bereavement leave can be defined as leave taken by an employee for the death of another individual, usually a close relative. The time is usually taken by an employee to grieve the loss of a close family member, prepare for and attend a funeral and or attend to any other immediate post-death matters. some corporations allow regular, full-time employees to take on average up to three days of paid leave following the death of an immediate family member. This is meant for employees to attend and plan a funeral for a deceased loved one. we know that this is not nearly enough time to process loss. it can take weeks alone to obtain the death certificates necessary to sort finances and close simple accounts. there is so little support nationwide for the mental anguish and process of death. we have witnessed this up close during the loss of life due to Covid.
if your company would like to discuss and formulate best practices and awareness around leave and loss, I look forward to connecting. please spread this post far and wide.
