I recall a friend asking me about The Memory Circle. I shared that I was the founder. I joked, the Chief Grief Officer. I started to use the name in my social media bios and one day a photographer pal shared how clever he thought it was, and that I should consider a trademark.
Fast forward to applying on line myself, until I hit a small snag and needed to call on a lawyer. All so very expensive. I sat on it for a while, debating the cost as an investment. I had already paid a great deal in registration fees, and the lawyers who I reached out to had huge estimates. Perhaps it was a clever turn of a phrase I could and would continue to use personally?
One day in a room on Clubhouse, I heard a lawyer speak about trademarks and intellectual property. Since he had his Twitter handle linked to his bio, I reached out. I asked if he wanted to make some Clubhouse history? I sent along my query, and we negotiated a flat fee that worked for us both. He filed all of the appropriate paperwork, and we waited. All was in order, and then we had to be sure nobody contested it. We waited a little longer.
This all took place during the long stay-at-home days of the pandemic. I had decided during this time to also gain my certification as a Grief Coach. I began the course, and to take on pro-bono clients as part of the training. Just a few weeks in, I received the great news that Chief Grief Officer® had become official, by the United States Patent and Trademark office.
As I had anticipated, my social media circle needed the services of my lawyer too-a lovely win-win. I was able to share my official and self-proclaimed moniker with my fellow coaches this week. It makes me feel very “on purpose” and a step closer to standing in my truth. I tried for so very long for my grief not to define me since the death of my mother in 1993, and have come to realize, it has, for life. Sharing not only what I have learned along my journey, but helping folks process and metabolize their own loss, is truly a gift. It makes meaning of my own, even all of these years later. I often think, while there are no stages of grief, or that they are certainly not linear — one of the last, for certain, is giving back.
I have continuously met the person in room, on line at a shop, in a writing retreat, beside me on a yoga mat — almost everywhere, who has experienced a loss of some sort. From miscarriage and infertility to divorce and the sudden death of my mother Ellen, I am no stranger to loss—or to share an ear where and when one has been needed.
I am glad and proud, to be working with clients who trust that I can help them on their own path. Together we are making it a language that is evermore comfortable to speak about, live with and move through. If you know someone who could use support, I hope you will think of me.
